Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
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You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
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