Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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