idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Dicks are not precious.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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