carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
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Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
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oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
We're too hungover to prance.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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