What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
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