I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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