If i come over, it means nothing
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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