He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
