Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
