You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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