you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
