If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
