Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
