if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!