i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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