haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
