Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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