Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
