i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
