can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Randomize
