I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
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Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I have feelings that need drinking.
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I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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