I can feel you judging me through the phone.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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