you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
