Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
