"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i just wanna soil my oats bro
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
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At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
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It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
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