So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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