3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
