And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
So drunk its hurt
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Randomize
