I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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