smell my finger.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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