Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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