My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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