Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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