I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
