I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I need a beard to bite.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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