Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
