I saw his package. It spoke to me.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize