I think my vagina is haunted
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
