Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize