Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
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