laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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