About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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