oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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