super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize