So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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