so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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