I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Randomize
