If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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