i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
