Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
