i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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