Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
