As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
