Sry I called you an 8
The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
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