dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
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