Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Randomize
