Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
