An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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