What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
