im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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