HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Hippo gnu deer
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
