fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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