Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Randomize
