One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Randomize
