Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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