FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
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