One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Just high enough for therapy.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.