508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck