nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
