Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
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You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.