I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.