What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize