I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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