i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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