Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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