gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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